I was 23 when I first fell in love with a goat. Ok, maybe falling in love is bit too dramatic, but there was definitely something there… I was in Dharamsala, India, where I had settled after a long journey through China and Nepal.
After a few intense months in the wild far east, waking up to a misty morning in the midst of monsoon season, followed by 3 hours of yoga class every day was exactly what the doctor prescribed. But my favorite part of the day was climbing up the stairs every morning on my way to the village and meeting my favorite goat behind the neighbor’s fence. Her high pitched friendly “BEEEEEHHH” made my heart jump with joy. Caught in her spell, I would stand there behind the fence for a time, exchanging “BEEEEHHHH”s as if we were reading poems to each other.
From that day onward, I was tightly bonded with this species of mammal, who seemed to have been born with the friendliest smile on its face.
Ramses is a sheep, but he has the same qualities. Walking around Paul’s property, in Andalusia, Spain, Ramses’ main goal in life is to nibble on the loan / destroy the trees. But sometimes he stops, looks at you for a little while, and once your eyes meet and you are hooked by his eternal smile, he will put his head gently in your lap, waiting for some affectionate pats.
The presence of a creature like Ramses definitely positively affects Paul, who’s been struggling to maintain his dream here in the Andalusian mountains for the last two years. Fleeing from cold and grey London after a personal crisis, Paul bought this beautiful land between hills of olive groves and oak trees to take care of his broken heart. With the snowy mountains of the Sierra Nevada in the horizon and a fair amount of sun all year round, this place is definitely healing. As the father he never was, Paul decided to make this land a sanctuary for others who also seek care. The place has several small studios to host artists and yogis for retreats, while the garden provides shelter for animals. Eighteen to be exact. Two geese, 2 dogs, 2 peacocks, 2 donkeys, 6 chickens, 2 cats, 1 Vietnamese pig, and of course the king of the castle — Ramses.
For visitors this place feels like paradise, but for Paul the experience is more complex. Despite the goodwill of visitors to donate and help with the daily chores, having to manage the maintenance and development of the land by himself is harder than he first thought. It’s depleting his energy.
Having grown up in rural Wales, Paul is not a stranger to working the land. In his mid-40’s he is running around from morning until evening to keep everyone happy, but he rarely has time to relax in this paradise he created.
Spain, and especially Granada, always called Paul. Since adolescence he knew his future home would be here. But after two years he acknowledged one unexpected problem — loneliness. Despite his supportive community of friends and the nearby village, Paul is missing the pace and diversity of the city. On his monthly visits to London for work he even enjoys the tube experience. Squeezing in with dozens of impatient city dwellers is somehow comforting and the familiar scent of sweat is to him like garden roses to the ones who are trapped in smoggy London.
“I wish I could have the ‘Brixton people’, from where I used to live in London, running around the meadow here”, he admits, making me wonder if city people can ever adapt to live in a low-stimulation environment. It seems that the mind craves not just the connection to nature and sense of freedom, but also the high-paced communication of the modern age, like political debates and philosophical exchange. Perhaps rural living is indeed more peaceful, but for those who are wired to handle chaos and complexity, it seems that the rural experience is not fulfilling for long periods of time.
Paul bought the land from a German couple in their 70’s who struggled maintaining the land as they grew old. He describes the moment of exchange of ownership like a movie scene. “The couple were sitting in front of the door as I stepped in, surrounded by their luggage just waiting to escape back to civilization”. I ask him if he is not afraid of sharing a similar destiny. He stops for a second to think, as if he only now realizes this as an option. “Maybe”.
Later in the afternoon, after the siesta is over, I go to the small village to wander around. Several cafes / bars are busy with mostly elderly locals. This is the situation with many villages in Europe which are craving some new blood, as young singles and families are moving to the city seeking jobs and a better lifestyle. I enter a dark cafe/bar with almost no windows and it feels like I enter a parallel universe. While waiting for my coffee I observe one punter. A man in his 50’s sits in front of a gambling machine and pushes a button every few seconds, like performing a religious ritual. The wheels roll, and stop showing only 2 identical symbols of the 3 required to win. After a few minutes he suddenly scores all 3 symbols. Time seems to stop as I wait for a waterfall of coins to pour out of the machine like in movies about Vegas, but nothing happens. Without batting an eyelid, the man hits the button again. Rural life.
Six months later I am back to visit Paul. The land is now for sale and Paul is dealing with finding the animals a new home before returning back to London. Deciding to let go seems to have infused him with new energy. “I can finally relax now and enjoy this place. I cancelled all retreats and visitors and thus got rid of most of the pressure involved in making this dream happen.”
Now with no strings attached, Paul can feel like a visitor on a vacation in a beautiful retreat center. Soon he will go back to the place he escaped from with new insights. Until then he will be here, waiting for the next dreamer to come and build a home in this forgotten place in the mountains of Andalusia. And what about Ramses? As probably no one will take one sheep as a pet like Paul did, he will most likely find his new home in a herd of sheep. Grazing in more familiar lands.
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